A Note to Fellow Allergy Sufferers

A full beard is the ultimate tissue-burn protection. No more chaffed and bleeding lips–all I have to worry about now are my nostrils.

Morning

You know it’s gonna be a day when you start off with a camo-can of High Life and a half-loaf of day old Monkey Bread.

Hallmark Has No Heart

The average coldolence card is disturbingly shallow. I looked at fifteen of them yesterday, and the only one I could send to my professor was for someone with a terminal illness.

Take each day
as it comes
and live it peacefully.

Let the good thoughts
of those who love you
bring you comfort.

And most of all,
rest easy
with the hope
that each new tomorrow
will find you feeling better.

Wishing you well.

It was more sincere than anything else there. I hope he feels better.

How It’s Gonna Be

The apartment is filthy, my schoolwork is piled up, 1.3k of bills are sitting on my desk (with $32 in my account), and I have two midterms next week. God I hate my life so much right now. You don’t even realize. You really don’t.

Call Me A Boi And I’ll Shoot You In The Face

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before (yes, I have), but I really hate the term gay. It is a big blanket that gets draped on any guy who fucks another guy. It is usually emasculating and compartmentalizing, too. I don’t want to be compartmentalized like that.

In freshman year I was part of the GLBTSA, and that didn’t go well at all. We were a group of fifteen or so, and all we had in common was our big stereotype. The people who ended up in charge made sure that our flyers were all pink, our meetings were all ‘fierce,’ and, icing on the cake, that our big activity of the year was a fashion show. Fuck that. Fuck them. That’s like the NAACP serving fried chicken and watermelon. That’s like the campus Hispanic frat doing day labor for their fundraiser.

They ended up driving off every normal homo dude on campus. By the end of the year, all they had left were small town queers and girls who thought they were still in high school. In fact, by the end of the year, the straight women outnumbered all the other sexualities combined. The result? Obama girls who bought into ‘gay’ perpetuated their testosterone free image of homosexual men yet again, further marginalizing the guys who just want to be taken seriously.

I am a man, damnit. Yeah, I fuck other men sometimes—what of it? That culture, that mindset: it isn’t me.

And that, my friends, is why Eugene is nothing more and nothing less than just a homosexual.

Your opinions, they are dark

With good reason. I understand that right now not only is the economy in a bit of a shit hole, and that that is compounded by the fact that we are in an election. But still, all the negative punditry is getting me down. I suppose these things are cyclical, and that in my own way I am perpetuating the negativity, but it seems like every body has a negative take on things these days.

I don’t believe that one should filter life and events through rose colored glasses, but I have relied on sources of lightness to counterbalance the dark goings on of today. Now it seems like those sources are following the trend of negativity, even spitefulness in some cases. Joy may not be fashionable this season, but I still miss it. Still there is always Sally Forth. And Kitty Pryde.

Coffee House

The massive girl on crutches just got a large frap with whip. I am not one to press into others’ lives, but seriously kid, take your body’s screaming hint.

Moments Before I Flunk Out

Spore is taking over my life and Warcraft is dead to me.

Oh, and who are they kidding when they say this game is about evolution? It is 100% intelligent design.

De(con)struction of a humorous moment.

So my parents are having E’s dad and his friend over for dinner. Anyways, I hadn’t really told my dad clearly that the friend was coming too. It was really awkward and Eugene and I were joking about my dad misunderstanding and thinking that his dad was gay. He told me to reassure him that they were football pool buddies and that he thought that one of them was married. Which was rather funny since both of them are married and E’s Dad is separated and has a girlfriend.

Down the Alley

Today isn’t interesting, but yesterday was. Because on-campus parking is so scanty near the buildings my classes are in, I always park on a back road bordering the university. It is a dead end on the far side of a neighborhood, shaded, and just the kind of place interesting shit could go down in.

As I was walking down the dirt path that leads back to my car, I saw two dudes drive up the main road in an old Camry. They both had the builds of shady soccer players, as if they ran a lot, smoked a lot, and forgot to take showers. To me, that’s a most beautiful thing. When I finally made it down to my car, guess who drove past me and backed into the very most shaded part of the dead end? Fuck yeah. I got in my car, turned on the a/c, and tried to see in their direction with my mirrors. No luck, sadly, but a person would be hard-pressed to convince me that something red-bloodedly pornographic didn’t happen just as soon as I left.

Visions of sleaze dance through my head. This is what it’s like to be a guy.